Anniversaries

This week marks six months since the earthquake that devastated Port au Prince, sent shockwaves around the world, and altered lives both for the victims and those that cared for them. Although my initial entries were optimistic regarding the recovery, the pace is much slower than any of us would like, and the underlying government and infrastructure issues remain. The President has been seen intermittently, yet a truly functional oversight system is nonexistent.(picture is of the presidential palace before and after) Aid continues to come in, albeit at a reduced pace. There are articles suggesting that large fortunes will be made by bidding out reconstruction projects. One would hope that this money will stay in Haiti, but history would predict otherwise. Nonetheless, the milestone of a six month anniversary, and the coverage it receives, will once again increase awareness. Hopefully, it will also provide a chance for reevaluation and course correction.

My last blog discussed the concept of the golden hour and how we mark and experience the passage of time. Anniversaries provide resting points along this continuum. How do we set goals, when we don’t have a tangible end in sight? How do we reflect on what we have accomplished if we don’t pause and mark the progress compared to similar periods? And why do some religions mark the anniversary of a person’s death, rather than their birth?

At least when we’re younger, all of us looked forward to our birthdays. It would mean a party and cake, a year closer to getting a driver’s license, being able to go to bars, sign legal contracts and move toward independence. As young adults, birthdays were still fun, but began to focus on the 30th and 40th. Had we reached personal goals? What should we do in our relationships? How have family dynamics changed? For those of us now in our 50’s and 60’s, birthdays seem to come more frequently. Fortunately many of us are still active and working on healthy lifestyles. If we’ve had children, they are going out into the world and we have the chance to redefine what we want in our own lives. Our birthdays and anniversaries of relationships or jobs become times to celebrate what we have done, but also reevaluate what our future should look like. The midlife crisis is in fact a good thing, as it challenges current thinking. Finally the 70’s and 80’s aren’t old anymore. Active travel, new job and volunteer opportunities (several of my colleagues in Milot were in their 70’s), make the transition to what is hopefully a brief period of decline.

In Judaism, we are instructed to celebrate the date of our relatives’ deaths, not their births. A candle is lit and one goes to the temple to recite “Kaddish” a simple prayer of faith. You often see others, whose family member had the same date, and even if it’s been a year, there is still an acknowledged connection. The Yartzheit (Year passed) symbolically marks the movement of the departed to the next higher level. Regardless of the symbolism, I realize that I wasn’t alive at the time of my loved one’s birth, but experienced their lives as well as their passing. So it is an appropriate anniversary to celebrate and remember. Other religions celebrate the birth of their saviors as a mark for the beginning of a new age and new enlightenment. The creation of a marking point in time differentiates that moment and creates a common opportunity and experience for believers.

This week is also my own anniversary of 4 months since I went to Milot. As I think you have seen from my reflections, it has been a transformative experience. Many things have occurred that now are viewed with a different, more open perspective. I am grateful to those of you that continue to follow my ramblings, and give me support and feedback both on and offline. It is enlightening and energizing.

My hope that all of us are in a position to make decisions today that will give us new anniversaries to celebrate in the future.